An Old-Fashioned Love Story with an Empowering Message

I just rewatched one of my favorite Bollywood movies, a charming folk story called Paheli. The sets, the costumes, the music and the actors are all superb, but what I really love about it is its ability to transform my mood whenever I watch it.

Paheli (meaning "riddle" in Hindi) tells the story of a young woman named Lachchi (played by one of my favorite actresses, Rani Mukherji), who is engaged to be married to a trader's son named Kishan (played by Bollywood superstar Shah Ruhk Khan). Kishan is something of a weenie, he always cowers before his father and is obsessed with his accounts. He takes so much care to balance the wedding accounts that he appears to be uninterested in consummating the marriage, but soon reveals that he just doesn't want to get Lachchi's hopes up, since he plans to leave the very next day on a five-year business trip. Lachchi is devastated, but comforted by the women of the house.

However, as soon as Kishan leaves, a spirit who had fallen in love with Lachchi comes to the house, in the form of Kishan! He fools the entire household into thinking he's the real son, but he tells the truth to Lachchi, wanting her to love him in return. She accepts the spirit's love and devotion in exchange for that of her real husband, and they spend four happy years together. Unfortunately, she becomes pregnant by the spirit, and news reaches her husband away on business. The real Kishan comes back, and the family can't tell their son from the impostor. A wise old shepherd manages to solve the riddle, but I won't spoil the ending for you if you want to see the movie.

While it's fun to watch the family's antics and worry about whether the spirit will be with Lachchi in the end, what I found really inspiring was the feminist message of the film. At the beginning, Lachchi is completely powerless, married to a man who doesn't seem to really love her, alone at the start of her married life and (if this were more realistic India) in no position of power until she bears a son. She has all of the burdens of being subordinate to her husband, but none of the benefits. When the spirit comes along, he seems to be a man made out of female desires:

"I am the yearning that resides in a woman's heart...that's who I am. I'm the love she wants."

While the real Kishan is away importing and exporting and tallying figures, the spirit Kishan dotes on Lachchi, his reason for living. Not only does he listen to her and help her fulfill her desires, he treats her like an equal. When she gets mad at him for using magic to help the family, he listens to her and promises never to use magic again, so she can "forget that he is a ghost" and believe he is her human husband. He also builds a well in the town and strikes water, ensuring a secure future for everyone. Though everyone attributes these successes to the spirit Kishan, he is really acting as Lachchi.

Lachchi also grows throughout the film. Starting off a naive young bride, the spirit gives her courage to be assertive right off the bat. When he reveals himself to her and asks her whether or not she wants him to stay, she immediately bursts into tears and replies, "No one ever asked me my wish." She becomes empowered by his love for her, turning her into an excellent wife and mother without withering her youthful qualities of joy and grace. She even has the courage to tell the real Kishan the truth - that the spirit did not deceive her and seduce her, that she chose him for his honesty and pure love. At a time when men were the beginning and end of conversation, this is a great example of a woman's grace and power over her life.

Hum Hain Rahi Pyaar Ke, Phil Milenge Chalte Chalte!

K

Headphones

I was walking home tonight, listening to some music on my big Sony headphones (they double as earmuffs in the winter), when I caught the eye of a man about my age with taped horn-rimmed glasses and headphones like mine. As I got closer, he stopped and took off his headphones and said, "Let's swap." I put mine on his head and he put his on mine, and we stood there in the middle of the sidewalk looking at each other. I realized then that he would try to know me based on the music that happened to be playing, and that I would do the same. He got to listen to the best part of 23 Hanashi by Yoko Kanno - when the dissonant notes finally fall into place and become something consonant - and I felt the beat of Paradise by Mickey Factz reach down and defibrillate my heart. We took our own headphones back, and he said, "If you're ever walking around with your headphones on like this, we should do this again," and I feel adamantly the same.

This is the kind of thing I always want to happen, but rarely ever does. I'm glad he was brave enough to take off his headphones and stop me, because I have a wonderful memory and something to look forward to as I run around the world with my own soundtrack pumping in my ears.

Sparkling Diamonds

If you haven't already heard of Marina and the Diamonds, the Welsh-Greek (I never use the word) singing sensation, you're about to. If you already are a Diamond disciple, high five.

Marina Diamandis has an amazing range that dips down into warbling guttural bellows and soars to falsetto boasts, an ear for hipness, and (most importantly) a lot to say. I have been impressed with every single song on her album The Family Jewels, but I will go in depth on a few tracks I especially love.

Oh No!
The first single I ever heard, and my introduction to Marina and her style. After getting linked to the video from Nylon, I pretty much watched it for a week, stopping only to eat and tear apart my closet searching for something resembling anything worn in the video. No luck.

Although the style and the attitude caught my attention first, what stayed with me were the lyrics and the themes of the song. As an utter romantic, I balked at first to "don't do love, don't do friends / I'm only after success." But after the first initial hump, I saw the song's other message: self-reliance. "I know exactly what I want and who I want to be...I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy..." As a career girl down on my luck, this was inspiring. It was the get-up and go I needed to get me back on the job hunting train.

In actuality, Marina's songs on this album are chronicling her rise to stardom. She learns to deal with her insecurities about putting herself in the public light, she struggles to overcome what other people think of her ("OH MY GAWD, you look just like Shakira / No, no, you're Catherine Zeta / Actually, my name's Marina."), and she takes big risks not knowing whether the payoff will be worth it. Oh No! is about what happens when you realize you have to sell your soul to reach certain levels of fame, and the question of whether or not you will do it. Will we go all the way? This reminds me of a great Bollywood movie, Fashion, where an ambitious small-town girl does whatever it takes to become an internationally famous runway model. She gets everything she ever wanted, but also gets an abortion and wakes up in a strange bed with a black guy after a night of coke-addled hysteria. But I digress.

Honestly, the second verse and following bridge hit me the most:

One track mind, one track heart, if I fail, I'll fall apart

Maybe it is all a test, 'cause I feel like I'm the worst, so I always act like I'm the best

If you are not very careful, your possessions will possess you

TV taught me how to feel, now real life has no appeal

I feel like if I don't get a job and get something to work on, I really will fall apart. Without a focus, what do you do with your time?

Oh No! is great if you know how to live in moderation. If you have a direction, you can pursue it, but you can also decide to leave your integrity intact.

I Am Not A Robot
This song is a revelation, like many others on the album. While listening to it, you wake up and look at yourself differently. You are not a robot after all.

This song is about being detached from the rest of the world, about the way Marina would behave in relationships (The Sun, Feb. 5 2010). It's about bridging the impossible divide between an outward appearance and how you feel on the inside. "Better to be hated than loved for what you're not."

I generally believe that it's better to be yourself and alone than surrounded by people sharing in a lie. That's easy to say when you have friends, but as I take more and more time to do things that I actually like and that express my personality, I find I need the validation of my friends less and less. While Marina appeals to others to teach her "how to feel real" and to "turn her power on," you can really do it yourself. I like singing this to myself while looking in the mirror, and listening to what my reflection says.

Numb

Numb is about the end of Marina's journey: she's reached the Emerald City of fame, but has no emotional connections or friends. After devoting herself wholly to the pursuit of fame, she reaches her goal and realizes it's empty. In her search for the "golden light" she plunges herself farther and farther into the dark. "And I will wonder why / I get dark only to shine."

We all have situations like this: the great career that makes marriage impossible, the creative spark that alienates everyone around us. If these situations are focusing on relationships, it's because 1) I am very relationship-oriented and 2) this is another song about Marina's relationships. "I'm no good to anyone / 'Cause all I care about is being number one." She lost everyone in her skyrocket to fame, and now is shining and falling back down:

And I light up the sky

Stars that burn the brightest

Fall so fast and pass you by

Spark like empty lighters